Monday was the first night I went back to South Leeds Sisters to join in. I took the newborn with me and joined in with the walk/run group, attached to the club - Leeds Girls Can Run. Lisa was leading and was really welcoming and made sure we were all comfy with the pace and all happy to walk. I was more than happy for them to go ahead and do some reps while I caught up walking but they all said they would rather we walked together than leave me to catch up. I was really refreshing being out in the evening sun, walking through the park and sharing experiences. I was worried the whole time I'd need to feed and would feel vulnerable doing so in the park. I'm certain that the ladies would have sat with me but I didn't want to hold them up.
When we got back I was able to feed in the safety of the sport centre bar and one of the lovely ladies sat with me and we had a really interesting conversation about Mini Mermaids. The programme is about helping girls feel comfy in their own skin and we pondered why we, as adults, still don't feel completely there yet. Personally, I struggle to say 'No' and even to small things like meeting up with a friend if I've got things on already - I'll try to squeeze everything in and end up not enjoying myself because I'm already rushing to the next thing. We wondered if it's a fear of rejection....like if I say no to something, will the person think I've rejected them and in turn reject me? If so, why should that matter? Surely I have enough about myself (and them) to say "that's not what I want to do right now but we could arrange something later". What interests me most is where did it all start? Does a programme like Mini Mermaids help? Or will our patriarchal society always make us feel like we're not good enough?
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